I honestly didnt plan to fail at the very first hurdle like this, I looked at the list of areas covered and believed I could do each one

Training Parameters/Areas Covered:
CBT -ok

Nipple Torture - sure

Sissy Training - probably
Humiliation Training - hmm i'll try
Dildo training (oral) - oral's ok
Behavior Modification - not sure what's involved, seems ok
Chastity - I thought I could but years of wanking whenever I was turned on I couldn't alter.
Bondage and Restraint - why not

I'm annoyed with myself that I entered this with good intensions only to discover I have much less bottle than I hoped. I expected lesson 3 to be posted on monday and was gonna give my ass a good spanking tomorrow as per lesson 2 even though I'd decided I wouldn't see the lessons through. I'm still going to! Might post pics of that at least if you wish, I dread to think how many strokes I actually deserve if it's one per release, I can only guess. You can decide how many and with what if you like, if not I'll go with 50 with a ruler. Never tried spanking myself before, it's gonna be interesting.

Reads like a cry for attention when I read it back now really. But honestly this stuff is too much for me. I've decided to runnnn. soz

right..........ermmm I'm sorry to report that all i've achieved from joining this course is that I'm getting off more than usual. This is the first one i've joined and I'm absolutely failing miserably. I've been out tonight with my friends and had a few drinks which adds to my honesty, I'm an honest person any way. I don't want to waste your time I've read the other blogs, seen a friday chat. These ppl are way beyound anything I've done. Excuses, excuses I know but you should cut me from this, I can't give you what you need. I'm too stubborn to accept this side of me and too sub to make the first move as is required in society which leaves me in no mans land.